I'm going to take a break from my flowery words and deep thoughts here for a second, folks. Sort of. I'm in a bit of a quandary. Loved ones' input welcome.
I just got off the phone with a company that appears to be actively recruiting me for a position that may be even less responsibility and stimulation than the one I currently hold, which is not how the position was initially described to me. I was up front with them about that. There's no guarantee of promotion, though it is a growing company. The philosophy of life from their end in response to my concerns is 3-fold:
1. That people want to have active, healthy and happy personal lives.
2. That people want to "make lots of money" and do so at a job that they like and are stimulated by.
3. That work/home environments need to be conducive to that happiness by way of the people and places they involve.
I suppose these people aren't totally ignorant of the fact that I'm less than satisfied with my current position. Largely that often has to do with less than ideal working relationships and an environment that is often oppressive and that, despite my gravest efforts, continues to foster an enormous void of negative energy that never seems to end. You feel it when you walk in the door. I fight the urge to be "sick" one or more times a week, and it's getting harder all the time. It's almost painful. That's no way to start 5 out of 7 days of the week. And I really like all of the people that I've interacted with at the potential new job. They obviously really like me.
My response to the recruiting company's philosophy:
1. My personal life has come a long, long way from where it was not so long ago. I have fantastic new friends, invaluable old friends, a loving relationship...there's little, if anything, that I would change about any of it. And I'm happier and more confident with myself than I've been in a long time, physically and mentally.
2. Money's nice. I have debt that needs repaying. The benefits package at my current job is likely slightly more weighted than it would be at the other company, but I could possibly negotiate my salary to make up for that. The job description for the new position, however, includes such things as "Daily office start-up, including turning on lights and machinery." Because THAT'S why I went to college. I am currently understimulated, but not necessarily because of a LACK of things to do so much as a total disinterest in and removal from the mission of the organization.
3. I took my current job knowing that I didn't REALLY want to do it, but because the environment seemed really great. That has changed considerably over time, as I'm sure has been evident to all of you. Environment affects me a great deal, and I think that it does have a lot to do with whether or not you're happy personally and professionally. But is it really enough?
The running argument is that work doesn't have to be, and probably shouldn't mean EVERYTHING. It's difficult to think that way when you spend so much time there, especially during Minnesota winters when you're much less likely to be out and about several times a week and are essentially hibernating for up to 6 months out of the year.
My interview is Wednesday morning.
What do I do? What do I ask them? Am I continuing down a dead end road that will continue to make me bitter and unhappy professionally? Will that carry over to other places in my life? Is it even POSSIBLE to do something you love for a living? How do you find out what that something IS? Should I take it, if offered, just to get out and into something new, then pursue other things? Am I destined to be miserable in any Office Stooge position? AAAHH!!!