Saturday, February 21, 2009


Let's face it. Things have never been quite right between us.

We've been seeing each other again for awhile now - since...what? November? A solid four months, anyway. I guess I was glad to see you, at first...but I never miss you. Isn't that strange? I never miss you.

We've had some good times. I have to admit, I loved seeing my puppy play with you for the first time...I even made a special effort this year, braving temperatures and conditions I would have ordinarily avoided just to watch her hopping through snow banks, sliding around on the ice, leaving tiny footprints behind her all over southwest Minneapolis. Or that moment, snowshoeing up on the Superior Hiking Trail - the silence, the solitude, the beauty. I thought we really had something this time.

But I'm tired.

Tired of waking up in the dark and driving home from work in the dark. Tired of layers upon layers of clothes that keep me barely warm enough when I'm outside and overheated when I'm inside. Tired of having plans ruined due to inclement weather. Tired of the sharp precursory frostbite pains in my fingers and toes. Tired of the extra weight that seems impossible to lose. Tired of risking my tailbone just to walk down the street and my life every time I get behind the wheel of a car. Tired of you hanging white-knuckled from my windowsill, creeping in through the imperfections in the original windows and breathing frigid air down my neck. Tired of shoveling, and shoveling, and shoveling.

So I'm asking you to go. Quickly. Quietly. I may be happy to see you again, but I won't miss you.

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