"I ain't saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch."
"Woman on cell: Hi honey...yes, I'm fine...I can hear you...stop saying hello to me. I goddammn hate it when you say hello."
"Man #1: Are you in line for the bus?
Man #2: The bus? No, I'm in line for the bathroom.
Man #1: Well, I'm waiting for the bus."
"Cop: All right guy, you have two options--
Old man: Let me guess, you gonna lock me up? Man, I go to jail like summer camp."
Okay. Go read it yourself.